Forgiveness
(The Immortal Soul)
Abi stopped by Minor’s house to talk about the direction her latest painting was moving, but when Abi began complaining that she was not a good person, the direction of the conversation moved away from her painting into an entirely different direction.
“You shouldn’t think that way, Abi,” Minor chastised.
“But, I’m awful. You should have heard me today. I told the entire group of women at lunch that I couldn’t take it any longer. I told them how, even though Helen’s my best friend, I just couldn’t take her anymore. She’s driving me crazy.”
“You need to learn to forgive yourself,” Minor said.
“Forgive myself? For what?” Abi responded in near total disbelief. “I’m awful!”
“Forgiveness is a form of Love, Abi. If you can’t learn to forgive yourself, then how can you expect to forgive and love others beside yourself? You need to learn to fix yourself first, the rest will follow thereafter.”
Abi shook her head disgustingly. “Yeah! Sure. You’re so smart, how am I supposed to do that?”
“We all have our transgressions. Regardless of how much we try, or regardless of how much we do to live a good and virtuous life, we can always look back and identify transgressions. Call them sins if you want, call them transgressions, it doesn’t matter. What you need to do, Abi, is to learn to forgive yourself for your errors, whatever they are, then move forward with Love thereon.”
“Oh yeah,” Abi responded sarcastically. “How am I supposed to do that? To tell you the truth, right this very moment, I really don’t like myself very much. ”
Minor thought for a moment. He looked away, then back at Abi. “Try thinking about it this way, Abi. Try thinking of everything that has made up your past as that which makes up your conscience. Then start giving some thought of all the things outside of your past as your virginal subconscious. I think if you look at things in that manner, then I think you will end up discovering something very important.”
“What’s that? How bad I really am?”
“No,” Minor responded smiling. “I think you will find that you’ll have to give your virginal subconscious some consideration.”
“My virginal subconscious? What are you talking about, Minor? I don’t understand a word you are saying. Anyway, what’s this got to do with forgiveness, and me forgiving myself?”
“Tell me, Abi,” Minor responded, “Do you believe in an Immortal Soul?”
“I don’t know what you mean?”
“I mean do you believe that there is something within you that will live on after your death?”
Abi seriously considered Minor’s question, then nodded her head. “Yes. I’m not sure what exactly, but yes, I’ll admit that I do believe there will be something within me that lives on.”
“Well, if you believe that, then wouldn’t it make sense for you to also believe that that same thing that lives on after death also lived or existed before you were born?”
Abi smiled. “I’ve never thought about it like that before. My living before birth, that is.”
“Well, give it some consideration. After all, that is what your Immortal Soul is all about. In fact, that is what all the talk about Reincarnation is about, and that is why you will find some form of Reincarnation in nearly every religion–East or West. For example, don’t forget what Jesus told his disciples when answering their question about what the end was going to be like. If you recall, Jesus said, ‘Have you discovered, then, the beginning, that you look for the end? For where the beginning is, there will the end be. Blessed is he who will take his place in the beginning; he will know the end and will not experience death.”
“The immortal soul?” Abi asked questioningly.
Minor nodded. “My advise is to start dwelling on this thing we call our Immortal Soul—in other words–the before, the now, and the hereafter–as being the thing that actually defines who you are. Not your body! Not your transgressions! Good God, don’t let a few recent transgressions define who you are, Abi. There is more to you than that.”
“I think I vaguely understand,” Abi responded in a soft voice. “But what does that have to do with what you were talking about before—forgiveness, and my needing to learn to forgive myself.”
“Again, think of your Immortal Soul. Try dwelling on your Immortal Soul as the thing, not your body or your mind, that defines who and what you are. I think if you do that, then I think you will also find it leads directly to forgiveness and then to Love.”
“Whoa,” Abi said, shaking her head, smiling back at Minor who was also smiling. “I think you skipped a few steps on me on that one.”
“Then let me try to simplify it further,” Minor’s smile waned. “Your decision is kind of like that of Hamlet’s, Abi. In other words, “to be or not to be” is the question. Unlike in Hamlet’s case, however, where most people think “to be or not to be” reflects Hamlet’s decision “to live” or “to die”, your decision, moving forward, is very much different. In fact, “to live” or “to die” are poor metaphors for what it means “to be” or “not to be”. Minor chuckled. “To tell you the truth, Abi, and if you really want to know, Love and Compassion are much better metaphors for what it really means “to be” or “not to be.”
Minor paused, then continued, “In other words, “to be” means “to act”, and “not to be” means “not to act”. And the decision “to be or not to be” is a decision that exists in every moment in time for you, and everyone else you come in contact with.
“Even though all knowledge comes from our past, as paradoxical as it might seem, our real goal should be to spend less time looking back and more time looking forward. The past is the past. The future is the future. The way you end up making all of this the Present, Abi, is by moving forward with action defined by Love with a Poverty of Spirit.”
Abi’s eyes registered questions.
“If you don’t believe me, then take the advice of one of the prophets before you and try to remember the first words of Jesus in his Sermon on the Mount, “Blessed are the poor in spirit; for their’s is the kingdom of heaven.”
Abi shook her head. “You’re confusing me Minor.”
“Think upon it this way, Abi. The secret to forgiveness is to act with Love towards your Immortal Soul. Once you give consideration to this, I think you will find it is a lot easier to forgive and accept yourself. To tell you the truth, you might even discover a form of Enlightenment at the same time.”
“That would be nice,” Abi smiled.
“Forgive the past, Abi. Don’t worry about the future. Live in the Present.”
“Easier said than done.”
“Don’t think in the negative, Abi! Yes, everyone can look back and find something in their past to regret, but I am willing to wager that everyone can also look back on things that they have done that they can define as having been good. It’s the good things in our lives we should dwell on, not our transgressions!
“I know that we shouldn’t get hung up on our goodness either,” Minor continued, “But I have come to believe the key to all understanding is to move forward with action while trying to understand what it means to have a Poverty of Spirit. When you do that, I think you will also discover that Love defines the way.”
“I think you really do make it sound easier than it really is.”
“Listen, Abi. If you build your past from a series of actions and that becomes your conscience, then what is conscience? Like I said before, your job is to go back to the beginning to try to understand what your virginal subconscious is all about. In other words, what I am really asking you to do is to be free and let God.”
“Be free and let God?”
“I’ll readily admit that what I am asking you to do is difficult.” Minor paused. “But if you think about it, Abi–the conversation we are having right now is a start. After all is not our conversation alone a form of freedom with action.”
“I’ve enjoyed it.”
“Love is an easy thing to enjoy. And so is God, Abi. Listen, don’t get me wrong. I’m far from being perfect myself. Even so, recently I’ve decided to heed my own advice, and I am already seeing signs of it paying off.”
Abi and Minor talked for another half hour. When Abi left for home, she felt better than she had before coming to Minor’s house.
Two days after her conversation with Minor, Abi called Helen for lunch.